This time of the year can be rather challenging ~ not only financially, but there are the expectations of spending time with people we may normally choose not to; or we may have lost that special someone throughout the year; or even be a situation where we simply do not have any close relationships in our lives any more. As such, instead of the expected joy and celebration, Christmas may actually be quite a lonely, isolated, and disillusioned time.
Art installation by Dale Chihuly
If you find yourself dreading this time of year, then you might like to ask yourself the following questions as to why you are not able to "get into the Christmas spirit":
Why do I need to meet up with people I rarely see during the year for a celebration that is old and outdated?
What’s the point of pretending that I “like” or “want to spend time with” family members who are toxic?
I am not Christian, or I do not believe in the origins of Christmas, so why should I then celebrate it?
How do I stop feeling so depressed and anxious during this time of year?
Do I even want to celebrate Christmas in the first place?
If you are spending this time of the year on your own and especially if you struggle with your own solitude, then maybe some of the following will enable you to gain a sense of inner peace and joy:
Spend some time out in nature, taking the opportunity to purposely unplug from artificial stimulation and take in the beauty that is naturally around us.
Take a road trip to a place that you have never been to before.
Do some therapeutic art or embodiment exercises to release any tension within you.
Give yourself the gift of silence. Block out any noises and distractions so that you can focus on what matters the most to you.
Volunteer at a homeless shelter, an aged care facility, etc.
Consider what skill or new hobby you would like to learn in the coming year, and what steps are needed to making that skill a reality.
Declutter your surroundings in order to create more inner space and peacefulness.
Light a candle for all the souls who are spending this time of the year on their own as well. Maybe offer up a prayer to the divine, offering them comfort.
If you will be spending time with family members who you would prefer to avoid, then:
Take care of your own stress levels. Relax before the event by taking some deep breaths into your diaphragm, ensure that you are grounded, visualise yourself being in a protective bubble, etc.
Set your own boundaries and limits. For example, make it known how long you can be at the celebration or gathering before you need to go to, and be firm with your departure time. This way the power is in your hands.
If contributing to consumerism/climate change is an issue, consider giving more mindful gifts. Focus on sustainable and ethically produced items.
Keep it simple. Focus on simplifying what you need to do. Stick to the essentials. Do not be afraid of letting go tasks and Christmas habits that you have always done simply because they are familiar.
Limit contact with toxic family members as much as possible. Be strategic and find ways of limiting your contact with them. Doing so will help you hold onto that little bit of extra sanity.
Lastly, whatever you do, practice gratitude. It has been proven that by being grateful, this is a powerful way of remaining happy and calm. While you do not have to put up with a family member's bad behaviour, find something about them that you can be grateful for ~ even if it is the simple fact you only need to see them once a year.